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The second coming is now the second going

September 5th, 2008 by neil.cowan

Ah well, King Kev is no more. Nor is it any surprise. I first penned a few unkind (but now proven to be not untrue) comments about this way back in March and now the man himself has parted company from Newcastle once again.

It didn’t need a great deal of wisdom to predict this. Newcastle footie club does have ‘form’ in this matter and KK’s previous stint there had also ended in tears. It just needed a bit of that thing called ‘common sense’ and a reminder of what the definition of madness is: doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

After all, there’s a tendency to do it in our business some of the time, too. Apart from at Chemistry, that is! Of course.

Team GB - a f****ing success

August 19th, 2008 by neil.cowan

Third in the medals table and our 13th Gold home and dry as I write this. Beijing has been — and still is — simply amazing. Team GB has proved what everyone in marketing responsible for brands knows: the right mix Continue reading ‘Team GB - a f****ing success’

Pedal Pests

August 8th, 2008 by neil.cowan

Taking an innocent walk on the pavements these days can be a terminal affair. Negotiating the doggy poo is one thing. Shooing away packs of now tame urban foxes, at night, is another. But avoiding the silent-but-deadly biker bearing down on you from behind is more difficult. Continue reading ‘Pedal Pests’

Speak it like Beckham

May 8th, 2008 by neil.cowan

Liam Byrne, Labour’s Immigration minister, has ruled that any footballer from outside the EU will have had to pass an English test before being allowed to pass a ball when the new season kicks off in the autumn. “Most of them”, Mr Bryne argues, “will be well off enough to afford a decent language teacher.”

I have, as a consequence, written to the managers of all the Premiership teams to advise them of my language teaching availability to help their ‘well off’ stars Continue reading ‘Speak it like Beckham’

Real reality

May 6th, 2008 by neil.cowan

Isn’t it good to know there are some things in which our great nation still excels. Indeed, we top of the league of all European countries in this particular endeavour: Britain’s got cameras — 4.2 million CCTV cameras, actually. The big question Continue reading ‘Real reality’

Olympic lottery

April 21st, 2008 by neil.cowan

I have five letters on my desk. One for each Lot we entered. And five postcards. The postcards’ designs are all slightly different versions of the one logo on the accompanying letter - the 2012 London Olympics logo. That logo! For this fivefold Continue reading ‘Olympic lottery’

Sorrellopoly

April 14th, 2008 by neil.cowan

Management Today and Marketing Week both landed on my desk at the same time, last week. Sir Martin Sorrell smiled out from both front covers. Only his choice of spectacles let me know the two shots were, possibly, taken on different occasions. Perhaps there’s a Sorrellibrary of images, for our benefit, that the world may Continue reading ‘Sorrellopoly’

Loyalty scheming?

March 12th, 2008 by neil.cowan

“Congratulations Mr Cowan,” my Britannia Building Society Membership Reward Statement begins. “Your share of our profit is £13.19…because you have been a member with Britannia for over 10 years at the end of 2007.” It is Continue reading ‘Loyalty scheming?’

Brolly business

March 10th, 2008 by neil.cowan

I kept it up for well over ten minutes this morning. It was a pretty fierce struggle but then all of a sudden it became too strong and, whoosh… Continue reading ‘Brolly business’

I saw it on the telly: it must be true

March 4th, 2008 by neil.cowan

All the signs were there. We just ignored them. I mean, Northern Rock sponsoring Newcastle United to the tune of £25m! Could there ever be a less likely winning investment? Yes: the day when Kevin Keegan arrived. Transforming the odd couple Continue reading ‘I saw it on the telly: it must be true’